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KanadianKat
02-12-2013, 12:40 PM
WACKEDOUT EXCLUSIVE CONTEST

Are you single right now and ready to ignore valentines day?

Or

Are you still paying off Christmas bills - and suddenly facing another expensive consumer holiday
that your beloved just won't do without?

Or

Do you just have a sense of humor about things and aren't afraid to show it?


...THEN THIS CONTEST IS FOR YOU!

455

PARTICIPATION DETAILS:
Briefly write why your ecig is better than your partner / the partner you don't have or do have / better than a valentines day card.

THE WINNER:
The person with the most interesting, creative, funny, heartwrenching or ridiculous entry will win our valentines day prize (see below).

An $80 value
Kanger BCC Tank (1.8 oHms),
eGo / Torch Booster by Artisan Vapes
eV 650 Torch battery in burgundy

Deadline for entry is February 14th, Midnight EST
Winner will be announced Feb 15th

Rob "The Rev" Melvin
02-12-2013, 01:54 PM
Top 5 reasons why my E-Cig is better then my wife:

5. She doesn't mind being fondled all day long
4. She likes it when I push her buttons
3. She enjoys it when I fill her up
2. I can turn her on anytime I want

And the number one reason my E-cig is better then my wife is...

1. She Vapes! ... can't get my wife to switch lol.

Thanks for the contest btw.

Cheers and Vape Hard!

Csmoka
02-12-2013, 02:01 PM
My ecig wont bug me to wake up when i'm late the girlfriend will....My ecig makes me drink more water as the girlfriend would make me drink more alcohol.....my e cig could take a good beating without being broken :P , My e-cig dont talk back...the girlfriend does......Only thing my ecig wants for valentines day is a new battery :) my ecig either doesnt call me stupid/dumb when i make a corny joke.....e cig makes a better breakfast then she ever will... And all in all my ecig makes me feel better/healthier as for the g/f would be making me feel tired/broke/scared :|
Electronic cigarette:1
Female companions:0
LOL

WolfeReign
02-12-2013, 02:12 PM
irony is that we celebrate a day that a man commited suicide (uh i hope this does not disqualify me)

For those that have heard me say i am married, yes i am in my second marriage. But i wanted to share how i got married the first time. I had known Carla for a few months, but we never had a chance to "hang out". One night I was walking her back to her place after our first 'date'. and she offered me into her place so i could use the facility. I swear they should only rent beer to you, i mean one goes in and four come out. Anyway lets fast forward to where we were getting hot and heavy on the couch. Clothes were flying everywhere when she stopped all of a sudden and asked will you respect me in the morning.

Well now a normal man would say yes and leave it at that. El Obviouso here did not. I wanted to say that three letter word and leave it at that. I really did. What came out of my mouth was ...of course i will respect you in the morning. I personally will want to rip my testicles off with a spork for sleeping with a pig like you, but hey i will respect YOU in the morning.. She replied i said the sweetest thing, and well we went at it. Again a normal man's brain would say dude! get out!! and he would leave. Me? I had a sense of humor and wanted to see where it would go and married her October 29th 2006. We divorced January 1st 2007. Go figure eh?

As a side note, when Carla's Father asked me what i was doing one time and i replied i was thinking of life, love and pursuit of unhappiness and he proceeded to not catch i added the un but instead tell me i needed to be greatful to him for making such a wonderful woman who was now my wife and how she brought me so much unhappiness.....we he started to say the unhappiness to his wife, i dove for the floor........

Names have been changed to protect the quilty in this story

Dee
02-12-2013, 02:23 PM
PV vs Valentines Card, The Haikus

Warmly Glowing Coils
Flavorful Vapor Inside My Mouth
No More Stinky Cigarettes

A Piece Of Cardboard With Cheesy Rhyme
Taking Up Space On My Desk
No Taste Of Swedish Pastry

Bidslayer
02-12-2013, 02:28 PM
My love is like a red, red Twist
That’s newly mailed in June;
My love is like the sweet VG
That makes such lovely plumes.

As fair art thou, my Aga T,
So deep in love am I ;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the wicks gang dry.

Till a’ the wicks gang dry, my dear,
And the clearos melt wi’ the sun;
And I will love thee still my dear,
For with cigarettes I am done.

And fare thee weel, my only love,
And fare thee weel a while !
And I will vape again, my love,
Thou’ Health Canada may revile.


My sincerest apologies to Robert Burns. :)

dragonfly
02-12-2013, 02:59 PM
Why my e cig is better than my boyfriend

While one has a battery and the other doesn't, my e cig never runs out of juice. I can turn it on with one finger. I'm not sure how many fingers it takes for my boyfriend. Probably more than one. My e cig provides me with variable voltage and yummy dessert flavours, my boyfriend does not.

And lastly, my e cig will never be offended by my fake interest in football and UFC. In fact, it never makes me watch it.

Haze
02-12-2013, 04:23 PM
Why my ecig is better than my vibrator ...urrhhhhh I mean my husband

kingpin
02-12-2013, 04:27 PM
:rofl: so far at the ladies.

NPGinWPG
02-12-2013, 04:39 PM
Why my ecig is better than my vibrator ...urrhhhhh I mean my husband
2 18650's stacked? :)

Haze
02-12-2013, 04:41 PM
2 18650's stacked? :)

Sometimes bigger is better!

starrlamia
02-12-2013, 05:17 PM
beat this suckers :P
great contest btw!

Ode to my vamo
Oh vamo
My heart doth belong to thee
Thy button lights up mine heart
For all around to see

Your long and slender length
Does not much impress
When compared to mine lover
But oh how you release my stress

When topped with a vivi
The vapour you submit
Makes me fall to mine knees
You just will not quit

Vamo, my vamo
You feel so smooth to my fingers
How warm in my mouth you emit
A lovely vapour that lingers

You have no competition
For in my heart you shall remain
You are my one true love
My life improved with your gain

WolfeReign
02-14-2013, 05:29 AM
Sometimes bigger is better!

And after all this time of being told size doesn't matter.......i see now....it is all about who can pull their post better

kingpin
02-14-2013, 07:53 AM
Dear ecig,

I love you more then my girlfriend because you never laugh at me when I'm naked.

Sincerely
Mike

katmandu
02-14-2013, 09:04 AM
E-cigs are a lot like my ex husband:

I have spent lots of money on both – one to get, one to get rid of

Neither will work unless I push buttons

Both heat up and cool down quickly

Both can explode

Both can be nasty

Both make claims that they don’t always live up to

After reading that list - now I'm mad at my e-cig! :biggrin-new:

TheVapingDon
02-14-2013, 10:13 AM
My e-cigs are better then my wife because i could have more then 1

KanadianKat
02-14-2013, 04:52 PM
5 Hours left to get an entry in for the contest.

Also - go ahead and vote for your favorite - I'll take the votes into account to judge the winning entry. :)

WolfeReign
02-14-2013, 05:05 PM
5 Hours left to get an entry in for the contest.

Also - go ahead and vote for your favorite - I'll take the votes into account to judge the winning entry. :)

Can we do more then one entry?

KanadianKat
02-14-2013, 05:08 PM
Can we do more then one entry?

Of course!

have fun and make us laugh, cry or groan....

WolfeReign
02-14-2013, 05:58 PM
I was working at Teletech Canada in Timmins Ontario, when one day hunny bunny called in to do something on her account. It took me five minutes to fix it, but we talked for another twenty five minutes about wolves. That was when hunny bunny invited me to email her more, but i had said i could not take customers personal information out of the building, however we did have internet computers on sight and so she gave me her email address. I had not thought about clarifing how she spelt it, so after work i sent off a email only to have it come back saying user not known error code.

I was somewhat crushed, as here was a awesome sounding hottie, and i could not talk to her again. I spent months working at teletech hoping i would get her call again, but it never happened....but life has a way of giving you a second chance. Let me fastforward a bit here though. I have been given a concusion, had both my hands crushed, ran over, shot, stabbed, electrocuted, strangled, posioned, drowned. I have seen things that i can guarentee none of you ever have, nor you would want to. I seem offstandish as there are things i do not feel comfortable discussing online, but i can say that if i have been there done it, then you bet your bippy i have.

My Travels as a man without a past (for reasons i will go as far to say online that the government cancelled all my ID) I wound up in the Calgary D.I. I then lived through the ground/patient zero case of MSRA (flesh eating disease). It was a few months of picking bottles and cans and trying to build a life for myself i ran into a old co-worker who was going to head to large get together for telecommunication personalities. Long story short, i got cleaned up as i was their +1.

It was during this convention that i ran into hunny bunny, and we hit it off. It was not until she made the comment in passing that she was having issues with her cell phone company, and i asked her what those were as i worked as a customer rep for nextel. Turns out that was her cellular provide, and well things fell into place from there and by the end of the night we both were laughing at how life moved us into this second meeting.

If it was not for meeting Hunny Bunny i would have been walking down a very dark road. When you see me refer to hunny bunny as my angel she is just that. She has been my Salvation, the one that makes sense of more craziness then anyone knows or would care to know about.

WolfeReign
02-14-2013, 06:05 PM
Hunny Bunny & Curious George

Way back when the realtionship was still young, me and hunny bunny went to Giant Tiger together. She had stopped at the toys with a sly grin on her face, and told me to go get something at the other end of the store.

When i had come back she had litterally taken a row of Cursious George dolls and but then in a 6-9 position with strawberry short cake. As she saw my pale face and look of horror that was setting in, hunny bunny gave me her sweetest smile and said loudly well...the damn Curious monkey does not need to be curious any longer


Only in Calgary

Back in 2010 me and Hunny Bunny went to the Calgary zoo. Not only did we have the poop scared out of us when the damn dino exhibit turned out to be animtronic, but on the C-train back to the hotel........there was a seventy year old woman dressed head to toe in leather and a mistress outfit.....come to think about it, i think the grandma said she was on her way to visit Ian

Dee
02-14-2013, 06:32 PM
I have an awesome husband. I don`t want to sound like I am bragging even though I am; I am constantly amazed he is in my life. I could tell you about how he does the laundry, makes dinner when I am working nights, or cleans the catbox. I could talk about how handsome he is, how I love the laugh lines around his eyes and his charming smile. I could talk about his goofy sense of humor, and how even though I groan when he makes his puns, I secretly love them and would miss it if he stopped. I could talk about how he is the first person I want to tell my news to, good or bad. How we often say the same thing at the same time, or finish each others sentences. How he is the smartest person I know, and I love to discuss politics, current events, and everything that comes up together.

But really, just trust me. He rocks, and I love him.

My Ego`s and my Vamo are better, because they are keeping me off the stinkies. They are improving my health and my quality of life. They are giving me the chance to make my life longer. They are making it so I no longer hurt the love of my life with my second hand smoke. And they are giving me more years to spend with him.

So thank you to the people in forums like this one that helped me to get started on my journey. Thank you to the vendors, if I had to rely on gas station cigalikes this would not have worked for me.

Sorry this was not funny or tongue in cheek. Despite it`s cheesy mushiness, I mean every word of what I have written. Thanks for reading it :)

Bidslayer
02-14-2013, 07:31 PM
I have spent lots of money on both – one to get, one to get rid of



Bwhahahahahaha ... my ex and your ex must have been seperated at birth. :)

KanadianKat
02-15-2013, 09:08 AM
Amazing entries! I loved every one of them. A lot of creativity and humor in this group - for sure.

So I've decided to let the votes do the decision - and it's come out as a tie. To break the tie - I'm gonna ask the top 2 entries to select a random number from 1 - 10 - and then use a random number generator to select the winner. Sorry I can't do this live - but the forum doesn't have a live up-link. I'm messaging BIDSLAYER and STARRLAMIA to submit a number.

Here are the winning entries:

STARRLAMIA:
Ode to my vamo
Oh vamo
My heart doth belong to thee
Thy button lights up mine heart
For all around to see

Your long and slender length
Does not much impress
When compared to mine lover
But oh how you release my stress

When topped with a vivi
The vapour you submit
Makes me fall to mine knees
You just will not quit

Vamo, my vamo
You feel so smooth to my fingers
How warm in my mouth you emit
A lovely vapour that lingers

You have no competition
For in my heart you shall remain
You are my one true love
My life improved with your gain


BIDSLAYER
My love is like a red, red Twist
That’s newly mailed in June;
My love is like the sweet VG
That makes such lovely plumes.

As fair art thou, my Aga T,
So deep in love am I ;
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the wicks gang dry.

Till a’ the wicks gang dry, my dear,
And the clearos melt wi’ the sun;
And I will love thee still my dear,
For with cigarettes I am done.

And fare thee weel, my only love,
And fare thee weel a while !
And I will vape again, my love,
Thou’ Health Canada may revile.


My sincerest apologies to Robert Burns.

starrlamia
02-15-2013, 09:21 AM
I knew I shouldn't have voted for bidslayer :P Haha just kidding, everyone's posts were great and totally made me laugh. Thanks for the contest Kat!

dragonfly
02-15-2013, 09:52 AM
Congrats, the poetry was awesome :)

Bidslayer
02-15-2013, 10:19 AM
Well, Starrlamia, I shouldn't have voted for you either. :tongue: We would have been in the same tie though. :)

Well done by all the participants and voters - and I'm trusting everyone had a wonderful evening last night with their significant PV.

starrlamia
02-15-2013, 10:24 AM
haha!
I had a lovely evening with my evic and some turk turk <3

katmandu
02-15-2013, 11:10 AM
Congratulations to both starr and bid. Both entries were witty and funny. It's a shame that both of you can't win.

WolfeReign
02-15-2013, 11:15 AM
Congratulations to both starr and bid. Both entries were witty and funny. It's a shame that both of you can't win.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM59Yw1vYvA

Bidslayer
02-15-2013, 01:50 PM
And there shall be only one.

Starrlamia - I officially bow to your poetic genius and declare you the winner. :)

:love_heart: Happy Valentine's Day. :love_heart:


PS: I'm starting to draft my St Patty's day poem now so I can kick your ass in March. :biggrin-new:

starrlamia
02-15-2013, 02:05 PM
That is extremely generous of you, and my best valentines day present. I thank you greatly. My wish is to gift it to my sister who is wanting to get off stinkies, but is on disability and has no money for a start up kit. This will be greatly appreciated and your kindness will not go unrewarded (how do you feel about bacon juice? lol)

Bidslayer
02-15-2013, 02:14 PM
Excellent! Happy to know your sister will have the chance to switch to vaping. How about you give her the bacon juice too. ;)

Csmoka
02-15-2013, 02:18 PM
Gratz star !!! :)

starrlamia
02-15-2013, 02:24 PM
haha! She will become my DIY guinea pig :) Thank you again bidslayer for your generosity

KanadianKat
02-15-2013, 03:07 PM
Hey Starrlamia,

Gratz on winning! Both you and Bidslayer added a whole new chapter of literature to the world this week :glee:

PM me your mailing address and real name, and I'll send this out to you.

Kat

SoUnique
02-15-2013, 05:00 PM
Gratz to the winner.

I shake my head at myself.

Today would have been my 33rd anniversary.

Ball & chain, choking me. Trying to break my spirit.

I made that commitment for life.

I took it seriously. For the rest of my life.

I'm glad I could finally realize the errors of that commitment.

kingpin
02-15-2013, 05:31 PM
Congrats Starrlamia.
You are doing a wonderful thing for your sister.

Dee
02-15-2013, 05:41 PM
Gratz Starr! This was a fun contest :)

galmedic
02-15-2013, 10:57 PM
sucks to be single on V-Day!!

starrlamia
02-22-2013, 12:23 PM
A huge thanks to kat, my prize came yesterday and I delivered to my sister today. Hopefully a convert! She seems to like it and I tried it too, very nice set up!

Sent from my Nexus S using Tapatalk 2

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